The Aftermath

I don't want this post to sound like I'm complaining, I just want this experience accurately recorded. That being said, the positive stuff first.... The surgery went fantastic, couldn't have gone better actually. Her hip went back into her socket perfectly, not too easily but not too tight (both have their downfalls), because of this Haddy was spared having to get some of her femur cut out. We thankfully only had to stay two nights. The staff at Shriners Hospital was nothing short of amazing. In fact, amazing isn't a good enough word. Our experience there was truly exceptional. Shriners is a wonderful facility, and for those who don't know (I didn't before all this), they run completely off of donations. It's for low income families who can't afford healthcare for their children, specializing in orthapedics. If we didn't have insurance, we wouldn't have to pay a dime. We fortunately have Medicaid, so they will bill Medicaid, but any co-pay or deductible or anything we might be charged, if we tell them it's a financial burden, we don't have to pay. Everyone who visited us was inspired by the generosity of the staff, and not just the medical staff, we had the van driver offer to come on Sunday to take Haddy to the park if she was getting sick of her hospital bed... talk about above and beyond! I think everyone left there feeling like they wanted to give back, I know I did. We are currently trying to think of ways we can donate/volunteer to do something for Shriners. For right now though, we are concentrating on Haddy. I must say, I had prepared myself for sad/hurting Haddy. I knew it would be difficult but I buoyed up my little spirit and went in ready to be strong, but what I was unaware of was that she would probably not be sad, she would be angry. And she is. She is very frustrated and it's making her a little mean and extra extra fussy. It's a lot harder feeling sorry for someone who keeps hitting you in the face whenever you try to get close.... She doesn't want to be put down (understandable, I would be sick of it too if I were her), but she is so heavy with that cast I can barely hold her longer than a few minutes! Our last day at the hospital was a difficult one. Haddy had her two very messy diapers in a row, and those moments made me realize what a big deal having this cast on was going to be. From my research I had gotten the impression there was a system on diapering, and I assumed (my first problem I suppose) that it was a system that worked...somehow. Well, I learned there is indeed a system. First, you tuck a sanitary pad into the hole in the bottom of the cast, then you tuck in a smaller diaper, then you put a bigger diaper over all of it, and you change it every 2-4 hours. There are a few problems with this system. One: it's ridiculously expensive. Two: the process with the cast involves me having to move her from her back to her stomach to her back again, and my hands get messy...and I'm a germaphobe and don't like touching things that can't get washed if I have messy hands.... Three: it doesn't work. Her first non-constipated poopy diaper, she got poop on her cast. My understanding was that this could not happen and if it did you needed to replace the cast. Well, I was wrong again. Apparently it happens all the time and you just wipe it off best you can and call it good. Um, what??? She's going to be in this cast for six weeks, and her first poopy diaper she gets poop on it. Poop that will be there until she gets her cast changed...in six weeks.... Did I mention I'm a germaphobe? Also the process of changing the poopy diaper was a huge ordeal. After the nurse left from helping me I completely broke down, I felt completely discouraged. I felt, and still feel, like I won't be able to go anywhere with her for fear of her having a poopy diaper and not having the army available to help me with it. Honestly, with her in her cast, I would just prefer to stay home the entire 3 months, but I know she will have major cabin fever and would enjoy going out a bit, but if she were to have a poopy diaper it would probably be a disaster, because she doesn't fit on a normal changing table they have places. So who knows what will happen there.
It is about 2:30 in the morning, I woke myself up at 1:30 to change Haddy's diaper, give her her medicine, and change her position (to prevent bed sores since she can't really move herself). I had kind of gotten past my poopy diaper breakdown from earlier and was moving on, until I changed her diaper an hour ago. Her cast had gotten wet. It had been 4 hours since her last diaper change (the doctor said once in the middle of the night would do the trick, and just change it more frequently during the day) and she hadn't even had anything to drink after 3:45 earlier that afternoon, and her cast had gotten wet. Again, quite discouraging, since that means I need to change it more often, like at least every 2 hours, at night as well as in the day. After realizing this I didn't feel like going back to bed (which I probably should have, since I just realized I won't be sleeping this summer), so I got on the computer and surfed the internet for a while until I thought I would update our blog on the surgery.
As discouraged and hard as this is, seeing the other children at the hospital made me realize how blessed we are. There were kids there with problems they will have all their lives, not just for a few months. My heart aches for the parents of those kids who have to put on smiling faces and be strong so their children can get through it, even though they're probably heartbroken inside. All of the families are low income and many only have one parent. This experience has brought to light the blessings I do have, including my wonderful, loving, supportive husband who, when I had my breakdown at the hospital, offered to go get me a large Dr Pepper (which he was smart enough to know that that is all I want during a breakdown), and continually impresses me with his level of commitment to our family. And even though Haddy is not herself and being difficult, I know we only have to endure for a few months. I also know that if Justin had gotten into a PhD program somewhere, this would be a million times harder than it is, because I wouldn't have the constant support of our wonderful family members constantly nearby who help shoulder the burden. Things happen for a reason, and I've said this before and I'll say it again, I know there is a plan for us. It is interesting watching it unfold and I look forward to braving future events with my very best friend, without whom I would be a complete wreck.
Since it is the middle of the night, I will post pictures later, but I must say, Haddy does look pretty cute in her pink cast :)